adoptedwriter | Idol, Week 4: The Uncanny Valley of Pack Rats

adoptedwriter

Closet doors creak open.

It’s dark and looming in there.
Like a dark chasm
of mystery.

I sneeze

three times.

Dust bunnies abound.

My nose tingles.

Two more sneezes.

Damned California closets.

They aren’t as amazing as they once seemed

back in the 90s.

One-by-one I dump the contents

of drawers, racks and cubbies.

piling clothing and accessories on the floor

to sort through,

and papers.

I had no idea of the paper accumulation.

Memories flood past my itchy eyes and sinuses.

A pack of 1990 Cincinnati Reds World Series baseball cards

still unopened.

Those are worth something.

Keep.

A torn paper sack with nothing in it.

Trash.

My Princess Diana Beanie Baby bear

in it’s plexiglass box.

I will always remember where I was when I heard that news.

In my car driving home from a bar mitzvah weekend

with my best friend.

Keep.

The red beret I bought at the France pavilion at Epcot.

Oh, keep that.

My Banner House purse…

The wooden handle is still in good shape.

That’s something I wanted badly but was ashamed to ask for at Christmas

because those purses were expensive.

My future mother-in-law bought it for me as a gift in 1983.

She never knew I wanted one, but opening that box was like

JACKPOT!

Keeping it!

A drawing my youngest daughter did of an outline of her hand and a pair of lips,

because she loved the story called The Kissing Hand

when she was in kindergarten.

“I love Mommy” is written under her illustrations.

Definitely keep.

An old photo in an envelope of me nursing my baby.

I was modest and didn’t want anyone to see the picture,

because of my boob,

so I hid it away in the closet

but I would never destroy it

because that’s one of the earliest moments

with me and my first-born baby girl.

Absolutely keep.

Next is an old belt

with a huge cloisonné buckle.

It’s red

and I loved it,

but it’s time to go in the donation bag.

Vintage blue Adidas with white stripes on the side.

The last gift my grandma ever bought for me.

They still fit.

If I ever get invited to a retro party or if we have “Vintage Dress Day” at school…

I am never giving these up.

Never.

(clutches pair of shoes close to my heart)

Random Morbid thought:

I don’t want my kids in the future to have to clean out this closet and find dumb shit I should have tossed.

Artifacts from an era long gone.

Did it even happen?

Were those times even real?

I did work retail

in high-end shops

and acquired way too many purses, shirts, skirts and sequined hair scrunchies

on discount.

I used to live and dress by the Rule of Thirds and the Eight-Point Rule

back in the day,

but nobody does that now;

At least nobody in my circle.

Bye-bye hair scrunchies.

Bye-bye shirts with ruffles.

The only skirts I keep have to at least have pockets.

Bye-Bye pocketless anything.

What’s this?

(unfolds crinkled up notebook paper)

A love letter/poem from my boyfriend/husband.

It’s super-corny.

Bad, mushy writing,

but it’s sincere.

Keep!

How did these times go by so fast?

40 years of memories

in a bedroom closet.

Life has been good.

For reference for the younger readers:

The Kissing Hand book: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+kissing+hand+book&crid=3FX2304X3REAR&sprefix=The+Kissing+Hand%2Caps%2C122&ref=nb_sb_ss_pltr-data-refreshed_2_16

Cloisonneé: https://www.amazon.com/cloisonne-jewelry/s?k=cloisonne+jewelry

Adidas shoes: https://www.ebay.com/itm/186425241086?itmmeta=01J43B7CPJH027T2T3ZHZSDKHP&hash=item2b67cf6dfe:g:aCAAAOSwmk5kdthW&itmprp=enc%3AAQAJAAAA8EY2oPnIny3EZQj0qwk8OaAFEcuV0%2BqIw3fyCi%2FLMFefMZYMPZHt0ApciuYwTeDyr3Vn3Sj3grG34lv9KM71ZjSFJHpHIHUiQORFOKG%2B47SwZfgwtirRRR7ElYQkt%2Fys90wlzr0V606xDod9E49PN1O96RiDxoBET4IDmtYRhYOjEbhEmeS9sUz8qQ1NIkUATY5H%2FN%2FW%2FNRscBZ7XidqItEIWE0d%2FwYKYkb29PBiR6DscBAdtY0ZpL0Z%2Bt7HV9EJcAPwaz01VMOami3lNunJkrGumTPIe6rzY%2FVekADZPaI%2FY%2BAQtKWXaMwzd%2Bo%2FOuiElw%3D%3D%7Ctkp%3ABFBM7sud66Bk

Banner House Purse: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/vintage-banner-house-bermuda-bag-wooden-handles--72479875222698352/

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: home

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

favoritebean_writes

We are cleaning out our California closets too. Oh, it's such a chore for me! Yours sounds more fun.

That belt buckle sounds really cool.

From:

adoptedwriter

It actually was and is. (I kept the matching earrings!) I just don't wear stuff like that to work or when going out any more.

From:

murielle

I much prefer going through other people's stuff than my own. My own stuff has so much baggage. 😊

This was really lovely.

From:

shirebound

This is very moving, my friend, reminding me of when my mom (a paper hoarder) passed and I had so many years of drawers and boxes to sort through. So many memories.

My Princess Diana Beanie Baby bear
in it’s plexiglass box.
I will always remember where I was when I heard that news.

So will I.

From:

adoptedwriter

Thanks!

From:

chasing_silver

The Kissing Hand is so sweet; we read it to so many Kindergarteners when I was an IA there.

From:

adoptedwriter

I need to find the actual book next. I saved a ton of kid books after my girls grew up. (Tossing perfectly good and loved books is a no-no in this household.) I think my daughter possibly took The Kissing Hand with her when she moved out, but I want the grand-littles to have a copy too.

From:

roina_arwen

I shall use my red beret icon in your honor, lol!

From:

adoptedwriter

Awesome!

From:

muchtooarrogant

"I don’t want my kids in the future to have to clean out this closet and find dumb shit I should have tossed."

Ah, but that's the thing, what they value will be different from what you value. So many past weekends in the garage with my wife and daughters--the keep/not keep game is never easy!

Nice story.

Dan

From:

adoptedwriter

Thanks!

From:

halfshellvenus

At first, I thought maybe you were cleaning out your mom's closets.

I don't think my sister has made a dent in my mom's house (1 1/2 years later), because my parents were both Depression Era and saved almost everything. Just thinking about going through all their stuff is daunting!

But more fun when it's your own, and really... a lot of the time you're weighing memories. I've heard the suggestion to take a picture instead of keeping something, because that preserves the memory without taking up so much closet space!

From:

adoptedwriter

I did photograph a few items. My mom has moved so many times (She is never satisfied with what she has.) therefore she has done much of her own downsizing. Her current place at the care facility is the size of a studio apt w a full bath. There is next to nothing in the bathroom since she cannot access that part alone and she is pretty much bed/wheelchair ridden. When she does pass, the clean out will be minimal.

From:

halfshellvenus

Self-downsizing is the BEST.

My parents moved multiple times, and only ever got rid of the kids' (our) stuff or lost the occasional box or two.

My Dad's book collection is ENORMOUS, my mom's VHS and CD collection is huge. Then there are a ton of clothes, some dating back to... the 1940s. And knick-knacks, and paintings, and kitchen stuff, and, and, and. :O

From:

adoptedwriter

Yeah...Last summer we dumped all the VHS tapes and most of the CDs, except for The Wizard of Oz and the Holiday ones.

From:

reidharriscooper

I just got some serious deja vu...
like hard core.
(yes, I am replying to the correct thing), this conversation between you and halfshell feels super familiar.

From:

xeena

Artifacts from an era long gone.

Did it even happen?

Were those times even real?

I really loved this, especially these lines. You really nailed how fast time passes and it feels like things never even happened sometimes

From:

adoptedwriter

Thanks! That's the effect I was going for.

From:

tonithegreat

Having come here from the green room, I would say you chose wisely with the direction you took this topic for sure! I envy you having the space/time to go through your closet kindly without rushing or feeling guilty for keeping too many things. Truly, it was relaxing and delightful to read your poem here! I'm at a stage of life where I feel like there is never enough time to clean and organize the way I ought to, and like there is never quite enough room in our little house for everything. But I think that may be partially a function of having teenage daughters with BIG emotions and desires, that can fill up a house no matter how much stuff is in it. I do tend toward the packrat side of the force, but I try to stay on top of things. I look forward to calmer days where I might have more space to make unhurried decisions about keeping versus tossing/donating things. I feel like my parents are good role models, having downsized their stuff collections significantly. But then they both had the experiences of dealing with disorganized homes when they lost their parents, which makes a person sensitive to that, I think. So much good food for thought here, and your post about stuff was refreshing because it wasn't a post about "the tyranny of the stuff" which is where my mind often goes.

From:

adoptedwriter

Thanks! It def gets simpler when the kids move out. (I have 2 daughters myself...all the clothes, shoes and bags/purses!) Summer break is my only time when I feel like I can unbury myself and crawl out with enough motivation.

From:

thephantomq

Cleaning out a closet is an adventure. I tackled that task last year and I can already tell I've gotta go through it again... I know I'm still gonna just... keep it all, though. I can't help it lolol. The memories really make a difference.

From:

adoptedwriter

Indeed they do!

From:

mollywheezy

I loved this! And I need to go through closets, and boxes of stuff that aren't even in closets, lol. I have the last gift my grandma bought me too, which is a plush dog named Max, since we both loved the TV show "Jake and the Fatman." :)

From:

adoptedwriter

Hugs...I remember that show.

From:

mollywheezy

YAY! Very few people do! :)

From:

static_abyss

I love that you kept the love letter from your husband. And all the other pieces that are important to you.

From:

adoptedwriter

Thanks!

From:

inkstainedfingertips

The things we keep tucked away and the memories they stir are always fascinating. Those old closets can be like a time machine in that way. Well done.

From:

adoptedwriter

Thank you!

From:

reidharriscooper

Maybe this is how I need to look at my collection and start deciding on things. Especially if I can turn it into a new creation. Thanks for the wheel turning.

From:

adoptedwriter

Sure thing!

From:

rayaso

Cleaning out a parent's house is like an emotional time machine. It can be great, but it comes with a lot of labor. Before our mother passed away, she had done all the sorting and mostly throwing out. It was a loving task.