Week 3: Without You

[adoptedwriter]

 Without You

 

I sleep independently. 

I work independently. 

I shop,

walk, 

drive

and bathe

all by myself. 

 

I bought a car and a house

on my own,

birthed & raised my children,

and I worked two jobs. 

 

Growing up, 

my fears frustrated you. 

I wasn't the kid you'd expected. 

I was afraid to swim. 

I dreaded falling off a bike. 

It felt impossible to catch a ball

without being beamed in the eye. 

I couldn't hold a pencil right. 

I was klutzy and knocked over things. 

No social graces. 

I was hard to teach. 

I rebelled and was sometimes unladylike. 

 

Still,

you taught me a love for animals,

drove me around when I needed rides. 

took me on trips,

encouraged my education,

saw that I graduated high school & college,

taught me thriftiness & money managemt,

showed me how to do laundry,

& how to make a bed. 

 

Like Mary Poppins, 

you made tasks look easy, even if they weren't. 

You looked after me if I was sick,

& gave me an appreciation for the arts like drawing, painting and writing. 

You passed on your love of gardens,

& you documented our lives with countless Kodak slides,

So that we could always remember the most important things in life. 

 

You’ve been my mom for 63 years. 

You've been helpful but at times a handful,

Optimistic yet pragmatic,

Both conservative yet progressive 

& oh, so determined.

 

Now, 

I face my fears instead of crying & running. 

I'm learning complicated life lessons. 

I have willpower because of you. 

But,

what am I going to do 

one day 

without you?

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

❤️❤️❤️

[adoptedwriter]

Thanks!

[chasing_silver]

This has to be so tough. <3 I hope the Mothership is able to tell you that she doesn't know what she'll do without you, either. <3

[adoptedwriter]

So far she's functional. She gave us a scare on Wednesday though.

[pixiebelle]

This touched on my biggest fear - a life without my mom. Now I’m crying. Well done. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

[adoptedwriter]

Thanks. Its a roller coaster for sure.

[shirebound]

Tis is incredibly moving and wonderful. There's still a hole in my heart four years after my mom passed away so suddenly... and always will be.

[adoptedwriter]

Sudden onez are the worst for the survivors. Hugs. Fur my mom its a slow roll. We suffer but she suffers worse.

[fausts_dream]

Lost my mom about 3 years ago. One is never ready, but she has prepared you as much as anyone can.

[adoptedwriter]

Yeah...and after losing my dad when I was 35 and didn't know shit about shit, I have been preparing myself as much as one can be prepared.

[drippedonpaper]

It's funny, I almost wrote something similar. My relationship with my mom is stormy, but I also can't imagine knowing she is gone.

Hugs to you! Good for you for facing your fears and having will power.

Our relationships with our parents often (if we are lucky) come full circle. I resented my mom so much, but now I do have some sympathy. Having 7 kids probably was never easy (my 3 kids keep my hopping.)

You are a good daughter, you are! And you take such good care of your mom. You are there for her and, in the end, that's what matters.

Hugs.

[adoptedwriter]

Thanks! Moms are tricky people.

[mollywheezy]

What a lovely portrait of your relationship with your mom!

[adoptedwriter]

Thank you!

[muchtooarrogant]

Parents always leave such a complicated legacy behind. Well done.

Dan

[adoptedwriter]

Thanks, Dan!

[erulissedances]

Moms - can't live with them, and don't want to live without them. A wonderful tribute to your Mom.

- Erulisse (one L)

[adoptedwriter]

Thank you!

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, that ending! And I know how much this is on your mind right now. :(

[adoptedwriter]

Thank you!

[reidharriscooper]

My mom had me later in life... I don't think I'll get 60 years out of her... she'd be 100+ by then but, miracles can happen.
Much respect and understanding.

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs. Thanks.

[roina_arwen]

I have a feeling many folks feel this way about their parents. It’s very relatable.

In this section did you maybe mean “beaned” instead of “beamed”?
It felt impossible to catch a ball
without being beamed in the eye.

[n3m3sis43]

I like that this captures both the happy and not so happy aspects of your relationship with your mom. It must be scary to contemplate losing her when she's been such a force of nature to you.

[adoptedwriter]

It is, but it was worse when I lost my dad 30 yrs ago because he died "young" and I was in a very alone place (emitionally).

[rayaso]

Great job!

[tigrkittn]

Mother-daughter relationships can be so complicated!

[adoptedwriter]

I agree! Thanks!

[hafnia]

ohhh ♥

[yachiru]

I definitely know how you feel. Love the free form.

[adoptedwriter]

Thank you!

[alycewilson]

*hugs* Sounds like she helped you develop the independence you needed. But it is hard to contemplate losing a parent.

[adoptedwriter]

It is...very tricky. Makes me think a lot about when I lost my dad 30 yrs ago.

[murielle]

Oh, hugs.

Kodak!

Always wonderful, insightful, thought-provoking, and in this case, heart-wrenching.

Brava!

[adoptedwriter]

Thank you so much!

[oxymoron67]

I feel this. I am a total mama's boy and am worried as my mom isn't in the best of health.

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs...Thanks!