LJ Idol Week 12: Topic: Salty

[adoptedwriter]

Rita and Martin were sitting side by side at the bar.
They were total strangers with very little in common.
Martin liked to think he was stronger than he really was.
She was very sweet, but at times there was a sour side to her character.

Both Martin and Rita were feeling quite empty this evening. Neither one spoke.
And they stared across the counter, she with a glassy expression, he with his one green eye.
That green eye annoyed Rita.
She felt as though he was ogling her in an inappropriate way.

Martin made her feel uneasy and awkward just sitting there while beads of sweat dripped slowly down his side.
Rita wanted desperately to leave, but she could not. Suddenly she was frozen.
She shifted uncomfortably in her foam-green skirt and tried to look away from the offensive verdant eye,
But not before giving Martin one last salty look.

That’s when she noticed Bart in his white shirt and black bow tie.
Bart was Tender, charming and elegant. He could have entertaining discussions for hours, and she adored listening to him chat about sports, describe travel destinations and tell jokes with everyone.

Bart always looked on the bright side and saw the glass as half-full. A nice guy like Bart would serve Rita well!

All of a sudden Bart reached across the bar and carefully cupped his hand around her,
and Rita began to melt a little…

Comments

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

I feel like there's a subtext here I might not be getting, but on the surface, at least, the metaphors are fun!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm not much of a bar / drink person myself past beer and cheap wine. LOL

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was one of the things that occurred to me: did they each represent a different drink? Like she's a Margarita? Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

She's a margarita. He's a Martini.

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I got that, pretty much from the get-go, lol! But you know me and wordplay! Very cute!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[fodschwazzle.livejournal.com]

I am glad she fell in with Bart, because I understand that Alexander kicks like a Moscow mule between the sheets. Not that he was on the tab.

I groaned in a public library while reading, thanks to you.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

LOL! Thanks for reading!

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

I loved your extended riff on the drink names. It was a fun take on the topic.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[shadowwolf13]

Puns and word play! Yay!!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun to write!

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

Poor Martin, who can't really help that one creepy green eye. Or the sweating, if he's prepared the right way!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

LOL Thanks for reading!

[dmousey.livejournal.com]

I am not this clever! I, too, felt as if I missed something in context, but I am a bit dense, so ... ;-D. Hugs and peace!~~~D

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Rita is a margarita drink. Martin is a Martini.

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Haha...This was Clever and nice play of words! I enjoyed it. Kudos or should I say Cheers! ;)

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[murielle.livejournal.com]

I've never been a bar girl, don't drink much, but after reading the other comments it made so much more sense to me. Going back for another read....

Now I totally get it! It is so clever! I'm so glad I read the comments and then reread it with understanding.

Kudos! Well done! I hope you venture out of your comfort zone more often.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

"Martin liked to think he was stronger than he really was"

Heh the Martin's I've met tend to have quite a kick, perhaps I just know people who pour heavily.

This is cute.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Lol.

[tonithegreat.livejournal.com]

Ha! Very cute. I found myself backtracking to figure out Martin's identity, but then I really liked how you tied it up with Bart. I think I would have gone femme with the 'Tini but Marti would be easier for people to guess, too.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

An intoxicating take on the prompt and a potently potable delivery!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

Haha! Thanks! Cheers!