These situations are so, so, so, so sad. So unimaginably, tragically sad. I have always been terrified of doing this, with either a child or a pet. It's one of my biggest fears. (I'm glad you put a trigger warning on it.)
I feel so much for the people this happens to that I sometimes feel a bit defensive and upset with other people (often found in the comments sections of such news stories) who want to condemn them as uncaring murderers. I'm like of course they're not sociopaths, of course they shouldn't be punished, it's a *horrible* accident.
I think one of my big resistances to clockwork-like routine is my fear of exactly this kind of incident. Because if you're going, going, going, and on the exact same routine almost all the time, and then you have one day where you're supposed to do something slightly different... Your brain just short circuits and you forget.
I drove with my little baby one time. He was 8 months old. I was tired and my mind was filled with a thousand things as I drove home. He suddenly said something, a little babble noise. And I looked up in my rear view mirror, to the backseat mirror and saw his face, and realized - I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten he was even with me. I hadn't stopped yet, so who knows if I would have remembered as I got out of the car. But I was so freaked out because that had already been a fear of mine, and to realize how it happens, how it feels. Oh my god.
It's our brains betraying us by trying to narrow our focus, cut out our attention/memory from things we do daily, because there are other things vying for our attention. It's just the worst kind of accident. I feel so, so, deeply sorry for anyone this has happened to. I think the worst mistake anyone can make is judging folks like this to the point they feel like it could never happen to them, because it could happen to any of us. It's one of those faults of human brain wiring, and it's devastating but true to know it can and does happen. That poor family.
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I feel so much for the people this happens to that I sometimes feel a bit defensive and upset with other people (often found in the comments sections of such news stories) who want to condemn them as uncaring murderers. I'm like of course they're not sociopaths, of course they shouldn't be punished, it's a *horrible* accident.
I think one of my big resistances to clockwork-like routine is my fear of exactly this kind of incident. Because if you're going, going, going, and on the exact same routine almost all the time, and then you have one day where you're supposed to do something slightly different... Your brain just short circuits and you forget.
I drove with my little baby one time. He was 8 months old. I was tired and my mind was filled with a thousand things as I drove home. He suddenly said something, a little babble noise. And I looked up in my rear view mirror, to the backseat mirror and saw his face, and realized - I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten he was even with me. I hadn't stopped yet, so who knows if I would have remembered as I got out of the car. But I was so freaked out because that had already been a fear of mine, and to realize how it happens, how it feels. Oh my god.
It's our brains betraying us by trying to narrow our focus, cut out our attention/memory from things we do daily, because there are other things vying for our attention. It's just the worst kind of accident. I feel so, so, deeply sorry for anyone this has happened to. I think the worst mistake anyone can make is judging folks like this to the point they feel like it could never happen to them, because it could happen to any of us. It's one of those faults of human brain wiring, and it's devastating but true to know it can and does happen. That poor family.