Week 2 Survivor Idol TW be advised

 You awaken early in a sweat after a fitful night’s sleep. You’re exhausted

 before the day even begins. Everything you’ve meticulously planned for begins this morning.

You shower frantically before your child awakens and dress quickly. It’s the first day of school and people are looking to you to lead the way gently but firmly, as you’ve done for the past 10 years. Your career means everything. Breathe deep…You got this…

Educating youth right is the best way to produce a better society of respect, kindness, talent and critical thinking abilities. Your job is everything…

You’ve hired a new art teacher who has great project ideas for incorporating global awareness into the curriculum, and a new math teacher who shows promise for raising district standardized test scores and for teaching in the newly implemented gifted program. Furniture in the staff lounge has been updated over the summer as were the three copy machines. You’re excited to see these changes as you wriggle into your skirt and new blouse. Fresh beads of perspiration roll down your just-showered back as you lift your toddler out of her bed, change her clothing and hand her a cereal bar before buckling her into the car seat. 

The morning DJ on the car radio tells listeners it’s going to be nearly 100 degrees for a high today, and you’re thankful that your board of education approved spending on a new air conditioning system for your modest middle school last year. Your successful plea that to keep children at their healthiest and most focused for learning depends on effective climate control in the academic setting was the final push for a better HVAC system. Your teachers applaud your efforts. 

You’re thankful for your career, and you remember to pick up the three dozen doughnuts as a welcome-back gesture of support for your amazing staff of teachers, aides and maintenance workers who break their backs every school day and beyond to provide top care and learning opportunities for young minds. You pull into your parking spot and grab those boxes on the passenger seat and stride into your school, smiling and charged up for another great year. 

Around 2 PM you get your first break of the day to sit down and eat half of a left over doughnut left in one of the bakery boxes. You stare at the bottom of the white box at the grease spots and decide that although everyone likes donuts, maybe next time you’ll get bagels. 

And you suddenly feel sick to your stomach as you tremble and realize the horror of a mistake you made at 8 AM. 

You dash to your nice car parked out front to discover that in all of your enthusiasm and hyper-focus on the first day back to school for your staff, your 16-month-old daughter has perished slowly and silently from heat stroke in your closed up SUV while you were off being everything to everyone else for hours inside your “perfect” building. 

.............

 

This news story made local headlines in 2007. 

 

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2017/08/24/ten-years-ago-day-local-mom-left-her-child-die-car/596774001/

 

I cannot imagine this mother’s thinking on that fateful day. Initially I wanted to judge the —ck out of her.  How could she?  I’ve been super tired and distracted but would never forget to drop off my kid at day care. 

Hell, I once quit a teaching job because I was being forced to put my work life ahead of my kids’ well-being. She was criticized by some folks as being too career-centered and privileged because she lived in an affluent community and drove a Mercedes. However, this mom was never charged by authorities and her school community actually rallied and supported her in her time of loss.

Part of me thinks Mrs. Slaby should have known she was in over her head between her home and professional life and should have taken a break or relied more on others for help. If she was so highly-qualified in her position and so well schooled, she should have had better sense.  I would never want this person to be my principal-boss. I’ll be honest, this over-10-year-old news story yanks, gnaws and tortures my heartstrings so badly that I can’t feel any love. 

 

On the other hand, part of me knows that there is no punishment greater than the perpetual self doubt, self loathing and an inability to self forgive which she will live with for the rest of her days. What happened was tragic, inexcusable, and neglectful, but her life is ruined forever, and it was her own fault. The day this story came out in my home town I instantly felt disgusted and punched in the gut. But also, my mom-heart goes out to Brenda, her husband and older daughter because I do not believe this educator is sociopathic. She was just incredibly hyper-driven to be excellent to the point she fell overboard and inadvertently dragged her baby down with her.