adoptedwriter: (Swallowtail Butterfly)
[personal profile] adoptedwriter
Rita and Martin were sitting side by side at the bar.
They were total strangers with very little in common.
Martin liked to think he was stronger than he really was.
She was very sweet, but at times there was a sour side to her character.

Both Martin and Rita were feeling quite empty this evening. Neither one spoke.
And they stared across the counter, she with a glassy expression, he with his one green eye.
That green eye annoyed Rita.
She felt as though he was ogling her in an inappropriate way.

Martin made her feel uneasy and awkward just sitting there while beads of sweat dripped slowly down his side.
Rita wanted desperately to leave, but she could not. Suddenly she was frozen.
She shifted uncomfortably in her foam-green skirt and tried to look away from the offensive verdant eye,
But not before giving Martin one last salty look.

That’s when she noticed Bart in his white shirt and black bow tie.
Bart was Tender, charming and elegant. He could have entertaining discussions for hours, and she adored listening to him chat about sports, describe travel destinations and tell jokes with everyone.

Bart always looked on the bright side and saw the glass as half-full. A nice guy like Bart would serve Rita well!

All of a sudden Bart reached across the bar and carefully cupped his hand around her,
and Rita began to melt a little…

Date: 2017-03-17 02:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alycewilson.livejournal.com
I feel like there's a subtext here I might not be getting, but on the surface, at least, the metaphors are fun!

Date: 2017-03-17 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm not much of a bar / drink person myself past beer and cheap wine. LOL

Date: 2017-03-17 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alycewilson.livejournal.com
Yes, that was one of the things that occurred to me: did they each represent a different drink? Like she's a Margarita? Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Date: 2017-03-18 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com

She's a margarita. He's a Martini.

Date: 2017-03-20 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
I got that, pretty much from the get-go, lol! But you know me and wordplay! Very cute!

Date: 2017-03-20 11:56 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-17 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fodschwazzle.livejournal.com
I am glad she fell in with Bart, because I understand that Alexander kicks like a Moscow mule between the sheets. Not that he was on the tab.

I groaned in a public library while reading, thanks to you.
Edited Date: 2017-03-17 08:38 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-17 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
LOL! Thanks for reading!

Date: 2017-03-18 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rayaso.livejournal.com
I loved your extended riff on the drink names. It was a fun take on the topic.

Date: 2017-03-19 03:27 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-19 06:31 am (UTC)
shadowwolf13: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shadowwolf13
Puns and word play! Yay!!

Date: 2017-03-19 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com

Thanks! It was fun to write!

Date: 2017-03-20 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
Poor Martin, who can't really help that one creepy green eye. Or the sweating, if he's prepared the right way!

Date: 2017-03-20 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
LOL Thanks for reading!

Date: 2017-03-20 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmousey.livejournal.com
I am not this clever! I, too, felt as if I missed something in context, but I am a bit dense, so ... ;-D. Hugs and peace!~~~D
Edited Date: 2017-03-20 04:37 am (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-20 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Thanks! Rita is a margarita drink. Martin is a Martini.

Date: 2017-03-20 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Haha...This was Clever and nice play of words! I enjoyed it. Kudos or should I say Cheers! ;)

Date: 2017-03-20 12:11 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-20 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] murielle.livejournal.com
I've never been a bar girl, don't drink much, but after reading the other comments it made so much more sense to me. Going back for another read....

Now I totally get it! It is so clever! I'm so glad I read the comments and then reread it with understanding.

Kudos! Well done! I hope you venture out of your comfort zone more often.
Edited Date: 2017-03-20 01:33 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-20 02:43 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-21 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beeker121.livejournal.com
"Martin liked to think he was stronger than he really was"

Heh the Martin's I've met tend to have quite a kick, perhaps I just know people who pour heavily.

This is cute.

Date: 2017-03-21 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Thanks! Lol.

Date: 2017-03-22 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonithegreat.livejournal.com
Ha! Very cute. I found myself backtracking to figure out Martin's identity, but then I really liked how you tied it up with Bart. I think I would have gone femme with the 'Tini but Marti would be easier for people to guess, too.

Date: 2017-03-22 07:59 pm (UTC)

Date: 2017-03-23 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penpusher.livejournal.com
An intoxicating take on the prompt and a potently potable delivery!

Date: 2017-03-23 11:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Haha! Thanks! Cheers!
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