adoptedwriter: (Swallowtail Butterfly)
[personal profile] adoptedwriter
Recently I did my DNA test at Ancestry.com. My results were astounding.

There are mixed attitudes among the adoption community that attempt to hold the adoptee back in terms of making progress with connecting to his or her biological past. Many professionals, (i.e. social workers, clergy and medical practitioners), especially those from older schools of thinking, still believe that we should just be content and thankful for the lives we had; the lives we would never have been able to experience if we hadn’t been adopted. It’s like a Law of Jante in which the adopted individual feels shamed if they speak out and disagree.
Unfortunately, sometimes among fellow adoptees, there is dissention when so many are struggling to accept a reality they despise: that their birth records in some states are legally closed. When one adoptee is fortunate enough to actually find their birth family and have successful relationships, and other adoptees do not or cannot, resentment grows toward the one who had good luck. I see way too much of this behavior in on-line support groups for adoptees and birth parents.
I am one of the “lucky” adoptees. Some people are going to hate me for that, and I have to accept it. Unfortunately, as much as I want to shout from the hilltops about how proud I am of my birth family, my heritage and history, I cannot say much in certain support groups. I am even careful in groups where I trust the members because you never know who might be having a “Bad Adoption Day” and have hurt feelings.
That’s the thing. Another commonality among the adopted is a fear of offending others to the point where it inhibits our own progress, lest we be rejected. Many of us felt rejected at birth, and no one wants to relive that or accidently trigger ourselves.
Back to my DNA results: One thing I learned, that I had no idea about, and neither did my birth sisters, was that I have Scandinavian, (Swedish-Norwegian) heritage. As per the custom of some of my ancestors, among most adopted people I interact with on line, I am very cautious. I begin with restraint and humility. I share very little unless asked. I listen and observe. Then I think and I write and reflect. This practice keeps me out of on-line trouble most of the time.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

adoptedwriter: (Default)
adoptedwriter

April 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
23456 78
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 27th, 2017 02:47 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios